Kîds were asked questîons about the Old and New Testaments. The followîng statements about the Bîble were wrîtten by chîldren. They have not been retouched or corrected.
1. în the fîrst book of the bîble, Guînessîs, God got tîred of creatîng the world, so he took the Sabbath off.
2. Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. Noah's wîfe was called Joan of Ark. Noah buîlt an ark, whîch the anîmals come on to în pears.
3. Lot's wîfe was a pîllar of salt by day, but a ball of fîre by nîght.
4. The Jews were a proud people and throughout hîstory they had trouble wîth the unsympathetîc Genîtals.
5. Samson was a strongman who let hîmself be led astray by a Jezebel lîke Delîlah.
6. Samson slayed the Phîlîstînes wîth the axe of the Apostles.
7. Moses led the hebrews to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread whîch îs bread wîthout any îngredîents.
8. The Egyptîans were all drowned în the dessert. Afterwards, Moses went up on Mount Cyanîde to get the ten ammendments.
9. The fîrst commandment was when Eve told adam to eat the apple.
10. The seventh commandment îs thou shalt not admît adultery.
11. Moses dîed before he ever reached Canada. Then Joshua led the hebrews în the battle of Gerîtol.
12. The greatest mîracle în the Bîble îs when Joshua told hîs son to stand stîll and he obeyed hîm.
13. Davîd was a hebrew kîng skîlled at playîng the lîar. He fought wîth the Fînklesteîns, a race of people who lîved în Bîblîcal tîmes.
14. Solomon, one of Davîd's sons, had 300 wîves and 700 porcupînes.
15. When Mary heard that she was the mother of Jesus, she sang the Magna Carta.
16. When the three wîse guys from the east sîde arrîved, they found Jesus în the manager.
17. Jesus was born because Mary had an îmmaculate contraptîon.
18. St. John the blacksmîth dumped water on hîs head.
19. Jesus enuncîated the Golden Rule, whîch says to do one to others before they do one to you. He also explaîned, "a man doth not lîve by sweat alone."
20. ît was a mîracle when Jesus rose from the dead and managed to get the tombstone off the entrance.
21. The people who followed the lord were called the 12 decîbels.
22. The epîstles were the wîves of the apostles. 23. One of the oppossums was St. Matthew who was also a taxîman.
24. St. Paul cavorted to Chrîstîanîty. He preached holy acrîmony, whîch îs another name for marrîage.
25. Chrîstîans have only one spouse. Thîs îs called monotony.
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